Yay, it really is another window of opportunity for Dopers to take part in their third-favorite task
Dating tips for nerds
Therefore here’s my issue: we likes me personally some bashful, nerdy dudes, nevertheless they won’t ever start a discussion beside me. I’ve not a problem using the effort (no fear, no tact, with no shame, actually), but them i tend to get fear signals back: stuttering, twitching, averted eyes, etc if I try to talk to.
I am maybe maybe maybe not ugly (based on the good individuals within the present picture thread with good hygiene, gown feeling, and fundamental grooming practices. I am a bit peaceful in that I do not invest on a regular basis giggling and talking similar to girls my age (22), but I’m able to undoubtedly hold my personal in a sensible conversation. I’ve no self-esteem dilemmas or daddy dilemmas or “issues” of all kinds, actually (except with individuals whom make use of the non-word “anyways, ” but that is why i am a doper, right? ).
I am told that i am too intimidating (i will be dull) and therefore dudes will assume that I automatically’m taken because i am perhaps maybe not unsightly, but i am maybe maybe maybe not flirting either (WTF? ).
I am getting sick and tired of holding the discussion for just two before the nerdy man understands that I am perhaps maybe not planning to sprout a moment head and relaxes enough for me personally to make the journey to understand him.
Will there be some shorthand, some alert or code expression him know I’m not that scary, really that I can give or say to let?
*relationship advice. You may participate in the passtime that is second-favorite which can be nitpicking my sentence structure and spelling, should you feel the necessity. None of the first-favorite material in right here, though. This really is a grouped household thread.: )
You hinted towards the conclusion which you do sooner or later obtain the nerdy guys to flake out, so that it seems like you are doing fine. It simply takes longer with some individuals. I am a Nerdy Guy myself, and I also should get my spouse to how–skittish–I tell you is at very first. It can not be much better compared to guys you are dealing with.
What sort of signals can you send? Any kind of “you” language is incredibly effective. “Name” language–that is, mentioning the individual’s name–is better still.
You hinted towards the finish it sounds like you’re doing fine that you do eventually get the nerdy guys to relax, so. It simply takes longer with some individuals. I am a Nerdy Guy myself, and I also should get my partner to how–skittish–I tell you is at very first. It can not be much better compared to dudes you are speaking about.
*sigh* i understand, but often we wish I possibly could slip a Xanax to their hill dew, ya understand?
What sort of signals do you realy distribute? Any kind of “you” language is very effective. “Name” language–that is, mentioning the individual’s name–is better still.
That is helpful advice. I make an effort to send “not stuck-up” (because often people confuse “quiet” for “snobby”), “friendly, ” and “not threatening. ” We smile (but I do not giggle), We make attention contact, and I also do not interrupt them as they want to obtain a phrase out (this will be hard).
Wait, you love the quiet(ish) nerd kind? And you also’re at OSU? If We just possessed a motor automobile…
Feh, whom’m We kidding? We’d clam up too. Girls are scary.
Can there be some shorthand, some alert or code expression that i could offer or state to allow him understand i am not too frightening, really? To start with, i simply took a glance at your image, and my your ranking regarding the Attract-O-Meter is;
( maybe maybe Not my typical kind, but we’d have difficult time unlocking my eyeball-tracking however. )
In terms of advice (and since you may have previously inferred, i’m in your target demographic): a good thing you could do in order to make a geek feel at ease is get him to generally share their favorite subject/intellectual infatuation/doctorial thesis. When you get him started, sufficient reason for simply the barest of frequent prodding and display/simulacrum of great interest he will drop the entire shyness facade and tell you exactly about The Hitchhiker’s help Guide towards the Galaxy/linguistic interrelations regarding the Romance languages/the life cycle of abdominal worms. When he is run their program and it is convinced in him, then he’ll start inquiring about your interests that you are genuinely!, amazingly!, outstandingly! Interested. (then he’s probably just a self-absorbed bastard, and you don’t want that if he doesn’t. You need to work through the initial barricade, perhaps not in to the dungeon. )